Homework Reading assignment due by October 5 - Job 17, 18, 19.
Wow, what a rousing night we had in our second week of studying the Book of Job. We took a deep dive into the book of Job tonight. We zeroed in on the first conversation between Eliphaz and Job. Eliphaz wants Job to be patient while Job wants to know how long he should be patient. (Jb. 4-5) Next, we talked about Job's understanding of God when compared to Psalm 8. We reviewed Bildad's conversation with Job (Jb. 8-9). We also looked at ways to be good comforters.
Here is a list of good practices when being good comforters:
Good comforters:
1. Make sure you know your skill sets. You are not the best person for every situation.
2. Make sure you are physically and spiritually ready to give comfort. Rest is essential.
3. Make sure you have the time. You cannot be in a hurry.
4. Make sure you are ready to listen. Don't anticipate the answer. Some thoughts require no explanation. Silence is golden.
5. Make sure that you can do the follow-up.
Would you please press the comment box in this post and add some words of wisdom that make for a good comforter?
The dictionary defines comfort as "state of physical ease and freedom from pain or constraint" and "the easing or alleviation of a person's feeling of grief or distress" (Oxford). If that is their explanation, nothing said to Job was going to change his (or my friend's) predicament. Bildad was supposedly operating from a position of wisdom - so much for wisdom...
Is comfort or accompaniment more a appropriate posture? I agree with the comfort responses presented by my fellow Biblical travelers. The reflection presented today by Dynamic Catholic suggested that an action or deed done without love counted for nothing. I'm still processing/pondering some things in my head as you can tell.
Some suggestions presented on line for words (when needed) that I find complementary are "I care about you" or "You are important to me". As we have heard often, do all things in love.
You made some great comments tonight.
This is a gem of wisdom! I probably talk too much in my effort to be of help. And when someone shares too much with me, I am annoyed! Praying for more empathy and patience....often expressed in the above comments!
Be a good listener. You don't have to have all the answers. There are times when you can only show empathy as empathy sometimes gives comfort.
We were give 5 human senses to use throughout our life and of these three come to mind in this situation and they are Seeing that who your are comforting is comfortable in speaking with you, you must Hear what they are saying, you must Feel their conversation which puts you in the same circle of comfort. You don't have to touch to feel. These gain their confidence in you. You also open up a two way emotional dialog with confidence.
I have a neighbor who has experienced physical debilitation and a change in ability to perform a chosen profession. I was advised that the family felt the matter was private and did not want help or information distributed to the neighbors. I felt my help was not wanted and did not know how to provide comfort or care. Some neighbors during the pandemic have provided each other with boxes of fresh vegetables; the family returned the food to me and other neighbors and said they did not want them. Was I like the friends of Job?
We took flowers and a card. I wrote that we didn't know what I could do to physically help and our fervent prayers are always being offered. My hope is that we left the door open in a non-intrusive way.
I like your response, be ready, don't give the appearance that you are a bother. This is a great line.
If your word of comfort is call any time you feel like talking. Make sure you make yourself available, even at 2:00am. Be joyful so they realize that they are not a bother to you.
Since Job was both mystified and confused about his situation, the only realistic thing for Job (base on his knowledge of "God's Will"), is to "accept" what is happening, yet still seek some type of audience with God about why he is suffering. Especially since his "friends" were no help to him in explaining why he, a righteous man, was suffering.
A comforter must provide both hope and realistic goals to one who needs comforting. Give them reasons for the hope, and set attainable goals that can be met.
A comforter must provide both hope and realistic goals to one who needs comforting. Give them reasons for the hope, and set attainable goals that can be met.
Make sure to choose your words carefully and thoughtfully. Avoid using "loaded" words.
Additional ways to be a comforter:
Refrain from being judgmental, even in your thoughts, not expressed, can be felt.