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I AM NOT GOING BACK

Twenty-first Sunday in Ordinary Time


"...many of his disciples returned to their former way of life and no longer accompanied him" (Jn. 6:60-69).


In an ancient proverb, a poet used a vivid image to illustrate the behavior of individuals reverting to old habits instead of embracing new opportunities. Reflect on the wisdom conveyed by the author: "As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly" (Proverbs 26:11). Contemplating the idea of a dog or anyone going back to their vomit is quite disturbing. The latter part of the verse is even more concerning, as fools persist in their foolish actions, believing they will somehow achieve different outcomes.


Similarly, we have witnessed this scenario in the past. Recall the story of Lot's wife. She foolishly disregarded the angel's warning: “Flee for your life! Do not look back or stop anywhere on the Plain. Flee to the hills at once, or you will be swept away" (Gen. 19:17). "But Lot's wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt" (Gen. 19:26). God offered Lot and his family a fresh start. Lot's wife was disillusioned; she doubted the angel's instructions as she looked back. Were Sodom and Gomorrah truly worth clinging to? Seriously?


In our Sunday readings a few weeks ago (18th Sunday in Ordinary Time), the movie continues as the Israelites desire to return to Egypt. Despite the promise of freedom, this longing to return to a life of bondage and suffering is a powerful metaphor for our struggles with the temptation to return to a former way of life. "Would that we had died at the LORD's hand in the land of Egypt, as we sat by our fleshpots and ate our fill of bread! But you had to lead us into this desert to make the whole community die of famine!" (Ex. 16:3) was the thinking of the Israelites. They were operating in disbelief, doubting that God could take them from bondage to freedom. Do you believe that God, the Author of Life, would want a whole community to die of famine?


Some of us idealize the past as better than the future. Harriet Tubman, often called the Moses of our people, took drastic measures to ensure freedom in her missionary work for people in bondage. She encouraged an enslaved at gunpoint, declaring, "You'll be free or die." She said there was no going back if you were on the freedom train.


It is crucial to recognize that even in our contemporary world, some individuals are willing to revert to a previous administration. Today, they foolishly think reelecting the 45th president is wise for America. These individuals are willing to embrace a sense of nostalgia akin to living in "Egypt," when Parorh refused to let the people go and worship God for three days. (Oops, I got sidetracked.) It should not be considered unusual; people tend to repeat their mistakes, like returning to vomit.


For this reason, you must love Peter's response when Jesus singled out Peter and wondered if he would follow the folly of some of the disillusioned disciples as they returned to their former way of life. Those disciples' necks were crooked, looking for the manna that lasted only a day in Egpyt when traveling to the Promised Land.  Jesus was standing before them, offering them eternal bread from heaven and everlasting life. Nevertheless, they still wanted to return to their lifestyle in Egpyt. This Bread of Life discourse in John 6 is a powerful teaching on the importance of faith and following the Way, the Truth, and the Life.


Examine Peter's response when Jesus asked Peter do you want to leave me, too? Peter responded, "Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God" (Jn. 6:68-69). At this moment, I see Peter pulling out his Jewish prayer book, the Psalms! Read with Peter the profundity of David's words:


Where can I go from your spirit?/ From your presence, where can I flee? If I ascend to the heavens, you are there;/ If I lie down in Sheol, there you are./ If I take the wings of dawn and dwell beyond the sea./ Even there, your hand guides me; your right-hand holds me fast. / If I say, "Surely darkness shall hide me, and night shall be my light,"/ Darkness is not dark for you, and night shines as the day. Darkness and light are but one. (Ps. 139:7-12)


By now, you ought to be dancing with Peter. Peter understood John's discourse on the Bread of Life. Eating Jesus' body and blood is Jesus living in us. We have the omnipresence of the Holy One in us daily, giving us Everlasting life. Returning to a lifestyle that does not give eternal life would be folly; it's like a dog eating their vomit. Praise God that the psalmist's prayer revealed this wisdom to Peter and us, saying God is everywhere. With the Bread of Life, we move from darkness to life, bondage to freedom, and low life to a blessed life. The Bread of Life moves us from despair to hope, from disbelief to faith, and from loneliness to a personal relationship with our Jesus. The consumption of the Bread of Life helps us to pray:  


Eternal Father, I offer You the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your Dearly Beloved Son, Our Lord, Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world. For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.


I AM NOT GOING BACK


Thank you for engaging with this blog. Should you find the content enriching, consider subscribing to Eat the Scroll Ministry for updates on our newest blog posts. Feel free to like and share this with someone you know. Evangelist/Professor Howard


Author: Evang./Prof. Michael Howard, MACS


Facilitator, University of Dayton, VLCFF,

University of Notre Dame, McGrath Institute, STEP Online,

Lead Faculty and Course Designer "The Presence of Black Catholics in the Church Today and Tomorrow" Loyola Marymount University,


Founder of Eat the Scroll Ministry 

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